What are you afraid of?

Well, I decided tonight to do something that I've never done before. I was mowing the grass, and I felt a desire to be adventurous. Not really like jump off a building get an adrenaline rush, adventurous, but more of the, I need to face a fear today, kind. So, I did a mental check list of all the things that I could potentially do that would be new to me. The first one that came to mind was, go to the movies. Now, those of you who know me, or have read earlier on in my blog, I don't go to movies alone. However, I felt today was as good of a day as any to face the fear. I figured since I already have conquered eating out alone, which I can proudly say no longer makes me feel nervous at all, it was time to conquer this one.
So, I set out on my journey. I had gone through the list of movies the beautiful Capital 8 is showing this weekend, and I debated on which ones to go to. Now, this was a hard decision because I want to see almost everyone in the theaters right now, but I settled on 42. The awe inspiring experience of Jackie Robbinson, the first African American man in Major League Baseball. Really, it's a movie that's right up my alley on all levels. But, I'm jumping ahead of myself.
I left the house and by the time I reached the highway, I had almost decided to turn around. But, I thought to myself, "Marie (I often refer to myself by my middle name because I'm usually scolding myself and really it only seems right) you will go to this movie, and you will like it." So, I continued on to the theater and took this photo to show my excitement for what lie ahead.

So, I got there, and the first thing I realized was everyone else had the exact same idea I did. I hadn't thought about it being opening weekend, on a Saturday night, of Iron Man 3. People were dressed up and there was a pretty long line. My palms began to sweat a little bit just thinking about waiting in line to buy a ticket, alone. I know, stupid. But, I waited in line, between a teen couple, who obviously were in love, I could tell by the awful amount of PDA they were displaying in front of me, and a guy who seemed to be venturing out alone like me. For some reason that gave me a little courage. I then obtained popcorn and a root beer, totally blowing my diet, but I was ok with it because I had already decided I was going to make this my supper, as unhealthy as that is. Walked to the line, passing Iron man and some man with a fake gun and a mohawk, gave the guy my ticket and did the walk of, what felt like, shame.

The movie was all the way at the end of the hallway. I turned in, quickly chose my seat as to not be noticed, and sat down 2nd row from the back. I, however, unknowingly left myself in a very vulnerable place. I had 2 empty seats on my left and right. The lights went down quickly, so I did not feel like I was being stared at, so that was a plus. Soon, 2 ladies walked in and wanted on the inside of where I was sitting. I stood up, let them in and the movie began. Little did I know the ladies next to me where going to be the most empowering women that could have set next to me in this movie. I felt like we almost became friends durning the movie. They talked, which the people in front of us weren't too happy about, responded to the movie, which honestly some pretty funny commentary, shouted and clapped. At some point in the movie, one of Jackie's teammates stood up for him, and I even responded out loud. The ladies laughed at me, and I apologized, but they encouraged me to carry on. I was pretty quiet most of the movie, until Jackie began to steal 2 bases, kind of giving a silent middle finger to the racist pitcher. When he was running, I got really excited and just hollered out. Luckily, the ladies beside me were also overcome with joy, and scream "Go Jackie, you show 'em" The movie came to a close and of course, I cried, as I do in most moving movies. I think I cried 1. because the movie has made me realize how far America has come in such a short time on the issue of race and 2. because of just how much Jackie had to put up with in going first.
In the movie Jackie says to the Pirates pitcher, "What are you afraid of?" and then repeats it to himself. As cheesy as this is going to sound, in that moment I felt dumb for fearing going to the movies alone. Compared to what he went through, I'm just being a big old baby.
So, needless to say, I enjoyed myself. I'm grateful for the ladies that sat next to me, and I am thankful for the challenge to face fears. I will be returning to the movies by myself again, and who knows maybe I'll face a new fear again soon.

Jeff City Adventures

What does a girl have to do to get some Indian food in Jeff City? That's all I wanted last night when I got off work. I had been craving it for a while, but I had suppressed the desire because I know cooking it would mean stinking up the house, and I'm pretty sure the family I live with wouldn't really appreciate it. But, yesterday they left, and I knew they would be gone for a few days. Perfect timing, I thought! So, when I got off work a little early, and I didn't have to babysit, I knew all signs pointed to go!
I went to Walmart to buy some necessary things that you need to have the proper Indian meal: parathas, these kind of look like tortillas but different, some needed spices and of course Indian style rice. Well, I struck out there, so I went to Hyvee. No luck. Same for Schnucks. I got desprate, pulled out the trusty Iphone and googled "international food store." An answer to my Indian food dilemma! There was one on the other side of town!
So I was off in Gladys, my trusty minivan, to find this international food store. I hit Jeff City rush hour but nothing would stop me from getting my goods. Nothing, except for the food store no longer being in existence! I was a defeated. My hunt had failed, so like any good book worm does, I went to a used book store to sooth my broken heart. However, on my way to the store, out of the corner of my eye, right next to the Little Ceasers and 60's Love (which reecked of... well I bet you can just guess) I saw a little place called Taste of India. Oh yes, this was it! I didn't stop though, I went to Nancy's Trade a Book and then even to Hastings.
See, I didn't stop because I have a small fear of eating in places alone. Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's a fear I have. I'm not really sure when it developed or why, but it's there. When I moved to Jeff City I vowed to work through it. At one time I wouldn't even go to fast food places alone. But, I can now go into places like Chipoltle or Taco Bell and eat all by myself, like a 22-year-old should be able to do.

I had never ventured out to the sit-down-serve-you type places and that's just what Taste of India was. After my Hastings visit, it had been decided, I was going to go and do it alone! I drove, parked and got out of the car. As I walked to the door my mouth went dry when I saw there was NO ONE else eating in the restaurant. (side note, this may scare some people, but if you are not familiar with Indian places their busiest time of day is lunch because they have a buffet and it's a little cheaper. It doesn't mean the foods bad) I got to the door, and I almost turned around to go back to the van. There was a carry out number on their sign, and I thought about chickening out and doing it. No, I was going to be brave. I went in and of course the waiter, who's name was Joshua and we had a good conversation, asked if I would be the only one dinning. He sat me in a booth and took my order. I got my food, and I ate alone.
Now, because I'm a white girl in an Indian restaurant. when I begin to eat with my hands it draws attention. But, my Indian friends in college taught me well, and they made me promise to the rule, when you eat Indian food you must eat with your hands because it tastes better, plus it's cultural. So, I kept the pact. The ladies that worked at the restaurant were, what I would call, gawking at me. I think I must have gotten stage fright because suddenly I was no longer hungry, but I finished what I had put on my plate. I asked for a to go box, paid and then had a lovely conversation with the lady at the register. By the time I made it home I was hungry again, so I finished my leftovers at home. I'm still counting it though! I was there for 25 minutes, and I actually ate alone.

My next step is to eat somewhere like Olive Garden. It still makes my mouth dry to think about that, but I'm working on it. You never know, I may just work up to going to the movies alone...Yeah, I agree, probably not!